I've committed to an experiment, a journey; one that I'll share with you over the next couple of days. The commitment ceremony took place when I pushed "Save & Publish" for this blog post. Transparency and honesty in what I share are my promises to you- I'll let you know about my real human struggles and I admit here, in the first post about this project... I am not perfect. Like you, I am constantly navigating in order to find the balance between doing, being, and self-care. Sacrificing my self, in order to reach my goals, sometimes to the point of exhaustion, has been something I've worked with my entire adult life. Does that mean it should change? I am not yet sure, because my pursuits are worthy causes and require hard work. However, I'll be exploring the benefits for my self and others, of adding more "yin" to the mix. Please join me on this journey as I explore, experiment, and play. You're also invited to practice with me every day. My hope is that both you and I discover more joy, connection, balance, and well-being.
My actual work with people is made up of the very medicine that guides and heals me personally... but lately, the 24-7 grind of starting a new organization has me in the role of administrator more than as a guide, healer, or practitioner. Starting a small organization like Wild Spirit Adventure is no easy task. In recent months, admittedly, I have become off balance in some regards, despite constant effort and intention. The practical side of bringing my passion, my vision, my work, to the world has taken over and consumed me. I'm finding myself at the computer almost entirely lately and in nature not nearly enough. So...
One goal of this experiment is to get into nature alone to practice what I share with others on retreats and adventures... and I am going to set aside time to do it Every. Single. Day. The whole reason I share these things with people is because of the profound impact they've had on my own life... and I am committed to bringing them back into my daily experience. Like many entrepreneurial healers and caretakers, I am seeking more balance between all that's required, as I start a business, and living the lifestyle I know is ideal for sustained happiness and satisfaction.
Another goal I have for this experiment, is to play with affirmations, allowing, and the power of the mind and the heart to invite and manifest results. I have a default belief in my mind- that I have to do things in order to cause results. Forgive me, I grew up on the East Coast. Lately, well maybe always... there has been a lot of doing in my life, and on some days, not enough allowing, gentleness, self-care, and not a lot of trust that the world around me will care for me or help me realize my vision if I let go. Staying up till 2 or 3am working at the computer has become somewhat normal. At the same time, while I get frazzled from checking things off lists and other very "yang" activities, I am also convinced that I am not doing enough. The mind says, "If I only did these 10 things more, I would get the results I am looking for." In this restlessness, I am noticing the personal impact, and it doesn't feel great. The topic of being (and allowing) v. doing is quite a mystery. The exploration will relate to manifesting results simply by adjusting the internal filter and my own imagination through visualizations and meditations. It's all an exploration.
As the days go on, I will share more with you. I do hope this benefits you. The vision is for my effort and sharing to inspire you and support your own journey as you walk forward. I will share some of my practices and experiences with you as I continue to blog.
Today, on day #1, I practiced some sitting meditation, spent time at a local park and practiced a breathing exercise with a tree, and danced. Tomorrow I'll tell you all about it.